Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Behind the scenes

 Kermit: Hello everyone and welcome to a special version of my talk show.  I want to give thanks to all the animals that work behind-the-scenes to make my show a success.
Kermit:  First of all we have my production assistant - Old Dog.  As with any production assistant he is bringing me some fresh spring water.  Movie stars like me only drink bottled water.  Old Dog also helps keep groupies  a safe distance away from me. 
Kermit:  Besides Old Dog I also want to thank my joke testers Ricky the Raccoon and Dog-it (the rabbit).  They also work security for me keeping a certain pig off the set.
Kermit;  My dear friend Drunk Fox whom I met in rehab.  I was a guest counselor at Drunk Fox's rehab center.  Looks like Drunk Fox is giving me a thumbs up.
Kermit:  With all of these staff members I have to introduce my two most important team members.  We have Reindeer and Bear.  Reindeer is my chef and Bear is an assistant chef and they are responsible for feeding my crew.
Reindeer: Kermit, do you want us to show the viewers what we have on tap for dinner tonight?
Kermit: Thanks Reindeer that would be great.  I don't have many special guests tonight.
Reindeer:  Bear let's take our guests to the kitchen.
Reindeer: Here I am the famous chef Reindeer and my assistant Bear.  Bear is busy inspecting the food for freshness. 
Bear:  What's on the menu for tonight's dinner Reindeer?
Reindeer:  Let's do French Onion Soup. First think I need to do is slice up these onions.  
Bear: RD is that a box of brownies in the background?  Are we going to share the brownies with the crew or can we eat them ourselves?
Reindeer: Chopping these onions is hard work.  Where is my assistant?
Bear: Here I am Reindeer.  I best start working on the dishes.
Reindeer: My goodness that is a lot of onions, certainly enough to feed the crew.
Bear:  Reindeer you never answered my question about the brownies.
Reindeer:  We should share these with the crew....but the picture on the box makes them look so good.  I don't know if I can share.
Bear:  Maybe we make them for the crew but choose the best brownies for our snack.  Compromise is good.
Reindeer: I don't know....
Bear:  Ah this is too much stress.  Let's just share the brownies.  Now, if we only had a bear on staff that could do some tasting for us.  Sigh.
Reindeer: Friends I hope you enjoyed a behind the scenes tour of the kitchen on the set of Kermit's talk show. All the stuffies are stuffing their faces right now so Bear and I will sign off.   Happy eating - Reindeer. 

Monday, October 17, 2016

Hereeeeee's Kermit (part 2)

Live from Little Fox's house, it's Kermit the Frog!
Hello everyone, it's me, Kermit the Frog broadcasting live from Little Fox's house.  Little Fox is off on an adventure so I am in charge of the blog till he gets back. 
It seems like our schedule includes visits from a few friends including Little Bear, Dr. Mouse, and a special mixology lesson with Drunk Fox. 
Our first guest is the one and only Little Bear.

Kermit: Now Little Bear, I don't know if you knew this or not but you have a striking resemblance to a few bears I know of in the Mid-west and up in Canada.  Any thoughts?
Little Bear: Kermit, you are very observant.  I believe I am a distant cousin on said bears.  Perhaps I should get a membership to Ancestry.com to do some geneological research.  Kermit, can I borrow your credit card?
Kermit:  Uh, no.  Now let's move on next guest.  Dr. Mouse is a very well known psychiatrist who works directly with the stuffy community.  Here he comes.

Kermit:  Good to see you again Dr. Mouse.  Now, don't take this the wrong way but last time I saw you, you had arms.  Care to explain?
Dr. Mouse: Kermit I am a renowed stuffy psychiatrist but I am also doing some charity work with shelter dogs like Sequoia.  Unfortnately, some of these shelter dogs think I am a chew toy and seem to forget that I am a famous doctor.  Luckily, my craft involves talking to stuffies and shelter dogs so my arms are  not necessary to me being able to heal.
Kermit: Goodness, I sometimes  have nightmares about being mistaken for a chew toy as well.
Dr. Mouse:  Kermit, would you like to schedule an appointment to talk about these nightmares?
Kermit; Now, our last segment of the show tonight is a mixology lesson with our resident bar tender, Drunk Fox.
Kermit: Drunk Fox, I could not help but notice you are slouching, are you drunk right now?
Drunk Fox: Kermit, you are known for asking the tough questions. I am not drunk in fact I limit my drinks to two a day, no more.
Drunk Fox: Kermit, I brought some liquor for our lesson are you ready?
Kermit: Let's go.
Drunk Fox: I brought a small bottle of Kahlula and rum,  will this be enough for us?  Who am I kidding? I better get some more liquor just to be safe.

Kermit: This is better.
Drunk Fox: I think this will do but I feel like we don't have enough alcohol.
Drunk Fox: This is better - we now have one bottle taller than both of us.
Kermit: Uh Drunk Fox do you think we have TOO much alcohol?
Drunk Fox: Kermit, I know you don't drink as much as I do but whenever the drinks come out it seems that the stuffies do as well.  Looks like the whole gang is here. 
Kermit: Well viewers another great show tonight.  Special thanks to my guests Little Bear, Dr. Mouse and Drunk Fox.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Here's Kermit.

Live from Little Fox's house, heeres Kermit.

Hello everyone, it's me Kermit the Frog taking over the blog while Little Fox is traveling up north.

Welcome to my evening talk show starring me, Kermit the Frog.
Let's meet our first guest, Drunk Fox.
He's a slow mover.
There we go. 
Kermit: Now, Drunk Fox the question on everyone's mind is pretty simple.  Drunk Fox, what is your relation to Little Fox?
Drunk Fox: Well, Kermit that's a great question.  I am Little Fox's crazy uncle.  I have a guaranteed spot on the couch whenever I show up to Little Fox's house - no quesitons asked.
Kermit: So Drunk Fox, you are like the crazy uncle who shows up.
Drunk Fox: You got it boss, now I heard that this talk show provides free food, can you point me in that direction?
Kermit: Uh no.
Kermit: Now that we got that cleared up let's welcome our new guest, Big Bear.  My goodness these animals travel slowly here.
Kermit: Hello Big Bear - welcome to the show.
Big Bear: Thanks, Kermit.  It's been a while since I have seen you.
Kermit: What have you been up to?
Big Bear: Well, I am still taking flying lessons and working part time at the diner.
Kermit: Ok, enough chit chat.  Let's get down to business.  Ajdin, Droopy, and Sandy all have the question, what happened to your leg?
Big Bear: Great question.  I was skiing years ago and broke my leg.  I had my leg set but the doctor said it would never heal.  Sadly, I have to wear this bandage all the time.
Kermit: That's too bad Big Bear, I also heard from Sandy, Ajdin and Droopy that they asked about you wearing a Hawaiian Lei.  Want to tell us about that?
Big Bear: During the summer I always wear a Lei as I come from a long line of teacher bears and I always celebrate teacher bears having much needed breaks.
Kermit: It's time for a little musical break.  It looks like Scottish Bear is our musical guest tonight.  It looks like he is going to play a quick song as we are behind schedule.  Is it going to be "March of the Black Bear" or is he going to try something new?
Scottish Bear: Thanks for having me on tonight as your musical guest.  Do you like my new song called...well it's not named yet but I hope you like it.

Kermit: Wow this show gets better and better.  Reindeer has dropped in to share his newest vegetarian recipe.  Reindeer, what is going on with you?
Reindeer: Kermit thanks for having me on.  My newest recipe is vegetarian reindeer cookies.  Check out the link to my recipe.

Kermit: Well that's all for tonight's talk show.  Viewers, thanks for watching.